Autumn has definitely begun and I love it. Birch leaves fluttering down onto the pavements, fleeces on in the morning, off by 10am when the sun slants through the trees at a ridiculous golden angle. Rain falling with serious intent.
And the Foo is off to nursery. He had his first sessions this week and was a star.
After a bumpy start for myself with what to do once we got there: do you just drop him off and go, hang about and settle him in or for the whole first session? Most Finnish mothers seemed to stay for the whole session, but I hadn't had breakfast, Bumpshie was starving for her second breakfast, so we ended up not going inside when they finished their hour playtime outside. Foo didn't mind me not hanging around, he was desperate to go in and play with the new toys.
I hung around in the leikkiepuisto park for another 45 minutes just in case he got upset, or the staff's English wasn't up to dealing with one of his Janus-like tantrums. But everything went well. He did some colouring, played with the toys, ate his snack and was excited to see me when I came back which always makes you feel like you've done the right thing. Of course, the tantrum appeared when it was time to go. Another good sign, I guess.
His teacher was worried that he didn't understand Finnish, but I reminded her that she needed to give only one command at a time and make sure he understood that (working with a bit of English as well) before moving on to the next. I know from how they deal with me that they just churn out this huge sentence in Finnish and expect you to follow it. Foo needs the slow breakdown of instructions even in English as a series of things to do confuses him. But I'm sure we'll get there.
So Day 2 and another wee tantrum when he discovered he had to stay outside for the first hour, the inside toys are just too cool. But when they went in and Bumpshie and I went home, he was great. He didn't want to do the craft, but was happy to play quietly on his own. He was a bit excited at snack time, but sat back down when asked. And the cuddly Foo side introduced himself to the teacher by sitting on her lap and stroking her face. So I think playgroup is a winner.
And I had 10 minutes to sit in the sun on my own and just listen to my own thoughts - ok, Bump was with me, but she was asleep. The only thing missing was my book which will be repacked in my bag for these golden moments.
Clouded brow lifting,
he radiates sun laughter onto simple skies.
A rebirth of his broken song,
sparks of alphabets and stars
heralds a new day.
Joy jumping over grassy hillocks
with newborn colt steps,
oblivious that we’re all falling
head over heels below.
He presses his face into me
unable to suppress his emotions,
itching to bite out love.
When instinct goes awry,
his twin emerges
with one word to crack the world
into uncontrolled gestures.
He throws out bolts of frustration
to all poles, knocks us off our axis.
Our words fail to comfort,
his to explain.
Choices only offer barriers,
his wishes tying him in knots
until he is stumbling over
what we find second nature,
When the storm passes,
our skin slashed and shivering,
I have forgotten all
but the return of the sun
and it’s soft face in my palm.